IT IS NEGATIVE degrees outside and Michaela is having an "e-learning" day, which gives me vague PTSD from the Covid era when every five minutes I was making her a snack or trying to figure out why the Zoom wasn't working or urging her to do something, anything, that wasn't on a screen. At that moment in time, nobody seemed to be in control. It didn’t feel like chaos exactly, more like a chasm—nobody had any idea what was happening or what should be done. Every week was the same in its general contours but completely unpredictable in its specifics: school would be open one day, but not every day; or school would be open to students but the teachers would be remote; or the Zoom class would be only one hour long and maybe you would get an email at some point with an update for tomorrow's schedule. Never in my life have I felt more isolated, confused, and overwhelmed.

Covid is over, but we have new troubles. And right now, like back then, we are all we have. If by any chance you are reading this and you live in Minnesota, I am with you in rage. And hope.

There's a quote from Madeline Miller's Circe that I often think about, when Circe talks to a sea monster and thinks "I cannot bear this world a moment longer." And the monster answers: "Then, child, make another.”

It's something kids do all the time—make up new worlds. During Covid, Michaela, who was then five, had an odd game in which she piled up all of the cushions on our couch into a kind of hut and called it a "chicken coop." Then she would go into the coop with some of her stuffed animals and just hang out there. Maybe she just needed the comfort of having a space of her very own?

In any case we were reading books together the other day and I saw her create her own world again. She told me she didn't like the way the protagonist looked, so she was going to change her appearance in her imagination. I watched as she swiped and pinched at an invisible screen.

"There, that's more like it," she said. And she read on.

In case you're wondering, she was reading Bad Best Friend by Rachel Vail. (She really liked it.) I was reading Women's Hotel by Daniel M. Lavery. (I like it so far.)

Three Things Keeping Me Going This Week

1. This was a big week for bovines! Veronika the cow (whose life I genuinely envy) made headlines for using a rake to scratch herself. And WTTW reported this week that in December six bison were introduced to a prairie in Kane County, Illinois, marking the first time in over 200 years that bison have roamed the prairie. The American Indian Center in Chicago stewards the animals.

2. I've been really enjoying Samin Nosrat's new cookbook, Good Things, and one of my favorite recipes so far is Sarit's Ashura Cereal. It's crispy and crunchy and it holds up very well in milk.
3. Michaela has been on a real "cozy mystery" movie kick and so far we have watched the first Pink Panther and all three of the "Knives Out" movies with Detective Benoit Blanc (personally I think the last one, Wake Up Dead Man, is the best). Now we have started the new Agatha Christie series on Netflix, The Seven Dials. No spoilers, please!

This Week in Mushroom News

This week's mushroom news tidbit comes courtesy Amy Wilde's perfect gem of a newsletter, Brown Paper Packages. Self-taught mycologist Mary Banning, who identified 23 species of mushrooms, is the subject of an exhibition, Outcasts: Mary Banning’s World of Mushrooms, at the New York State Museum. Her watercolors are extraordinary. Also, I was not aware that mycology is known as the gateway for women in science! Apparently fungi were not taken seriously by male naturalists—no surprise, then, that women were motivated to give them a closer look.

Stay warm, be careful!

Hugs, Claire